What the fuck are you doing with your life - get it all out.

This post is not going to have any order to it, it is just going to be all my thoughts thrown at the wall at once.

Today is Tuesday April 7th, it is approximately 11:50pm. I am sitting in my bed with my wife sleeping right next to me, and I have no idea what I am doing with my life.

I truly believe I am a complete waste of life and payroll at my job. I really do not know what I want to do with my life. I love my job, but everyday, I go into the bathroom and rub one out. This happens everyday. Do I need to talk to someone about this. Today alone, I jacked off 3 times at my office. This is a serious problem that I need to get under control.

I feel like such a piece of shit after I am done. I just don't know what to do any more. I don't want to kill myself, I don't think. I just don't know what I am doing any more. What should I do??

I took Carter to flag football practice today, and it was just weird, what was I doing? Why was I even there? There was no point for me to be there.

Drinking doesn't help.

Jacking off doesn't help.

My neck always hurts, I am fat, I spend so much money. I hate my house. I love my kids, but they are little shits some times.

Kuper is a little shit, but he is so cute and he means well I think. He beats the kids around him, he is definitely behind everyone else in his class. I don't think he is dumb. Dumb is not the correct word for it. Kuper is lazy like me, or he just doesn't care, like me.