What the FUCK!!!!

Yesterday morning I took my children with me to go get my hair cut. They were both pretty good when we were at the barbershop. They had some trouble sitting still, but other than that they did pretty well.
After the barbershop, the boys and I came home to meet Laura. I need to back up a little bit. Every once in a while, Laura will wake me up on a Saturday or Sunday morning when she is feeling horny and will want to have sex first thing in the morning. I am not one to decline sex, so about 99.9% of the time I am happy to oblige her. This past was not exception. We went at it for a little while, then Laura told me she wanted to go get her nails done. This was perfectly fine with me as I stated earlier, I need to get my hair cut. Normally I cut my own hair, but every once in a while, I want to get it professionally done.
Now back to my story, I get home from my hair cut and Laura is still horny. So I go up stairs, and she have sex again. Happy morning for me, normally I don't get laid 2 times in one day. I thought it was going to be the start of a great day. Thought being the operative word here. When I came down stairs after my "session", I had the feeling something was off, it also smelled distinctly like pee. Well, I took at one of my red 32oz mugs, and there was a little liquid in the bottom of it. I asked the boys what happened, and Carter informed me that Kuper had an "accident" and used my cup as a urinal. At this point, I was pissed but it struck me as kind of odd for a couple of reasons. One, why would Kuper pee in my cup, there was an open bathroom 15 feet away? Two, this is off character even for Kuper, he has never done this in the past and when he gets in trouble he normally fesses up to it fairly quickly. Well he blamed his brother and his brother blamed him. Since neither one of them who tell me who did it, I punished both of them. We left the house with me still pretty angry. We went out for lunch at BWW, and all through lunch they still both blamed each other. After lunch, Laura wanted to take a look at the new Nordstrom's rack that opened near us. As I am not one to be a big shopper, I dropped her off and said I was going to go get gas and return a couple of movies we had rented the night before. Carter decided he wanted to go with his mother, and Kuper would go for a ride with me. I took this as my opportunity to grill Kuper a little on what happened. Like a good little boy and after a little bit of bribery on my part, Kuper told me that Carter was the one who peed in my cup. I tend to believe Kuper, like I stated above, Kuper usually does not lie to be, if you ask him what happened, he tends to tell me (even if he did it) what happened. I usually believe Kuper since he does not lie. Lying is usually what Carter does to save his ass. So after Kuper and I got gas about 20 minutes had passed, I called Laura to make sure she was ok and that everything was going as planned. In the back of my mind, I wanted to pick Carter up and grill him a little more without his mother being present. Well, Carter was being his normal self and only wanted to look at the toys. So I was going to pick him up and let Laura continue to go shopping. Laura has other plans, she was done shopping and just wanted me to pick both of them up. I did as I was told and went over to Nordstrom's to pick both of them up. When I did, I told Laura what Kuper told me and wanted to get her opinion on the matter. Laura agreed with me that Kuper doesn't tend to lie and so we both dug into Carter a little more. After this, Carter confessed he was the one who peed in my cup. What I really don't understand, is what would possess a little boy to pee in a cup. Carter didn't have an answer for me. In the end, the story goes like this. Carter had to go to the bathroom, but was too lazy to walk to the bathroom so he peed in the cup. Then once he did it, he walked over to the bathroom and dumped out the pee in the toilet. Yes, you heard me right he walked over to the open toilet and dumped the fucking pee in the toilet. I mean, WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!

Now fast forward to this evening. I made a pretty good meal for my family, spaghetti with red sauce, garlic bread, and white sauce for my wife (truly I heated up some left over white sauce for Laura). After dinner, Laura worked on reading a book with Carter and I worked with Kuper on his writing (Kuper has horrible hand writing, and it is something his teacher wanted us to work on this him). After we did our "homework", Laura and I sent the boys up to their work to read some books and relax in their room. After about 5 or 10 minutes, Carter came down stairs and told Laura and I that Kuper had peed in his hand and then threw it on his bed. Well after yesterday's incident, I did not believe Carter that is what happened, and it turned out I was right. At this point, I really lost my shit! Not to get into all the details, Carter go some water somewhere and he put it on Kuper's bed. How we figured this out, there was a huge wet spot in Carter's bed as well. Laura don't know what to do now, and neither do I. I mean if I was that age again, my mother would have beat me with a wooden spoon.  I would have cried for a while, but I would have learned my lesson and I never would have done it again. I mean , I am 34 years old and my mother still scares me a little. Actually that is not true, my mother does not scare me, I just have a ton of respect for her and I would not do anything like that to her.

So now it is almost 9 o'clock and I need to go up and talk to my children, but I have no idea what to say to them. Carter is a little shit is all I can think and Kuper just keep getting caught up in the cross fire. Kuper is not innocent by any means, he drew on his walls today after Laura and I both told him many time that the marks are only for writing on paper. I just don't know what to do with these kids anymore. It takes everything in me not to beat them.