April 16th

So yesterday turned out to be a pretty crappy day. I had been holding my breath as to speak about getting a new position with WF. But I got an email yesterday saying "we chose someone else". Plus I have been trying to rap my mind around some items, at my current job and just can't seem to do it. So when I got home last night, I decided to drink a half a bottle of MM. I didn't get drunk, I just wanted something to make me feel a little bit better. After my first 2 glasses, I decided to smoke a cigar and take a walk, to help me think. I came up with a saying, "IF YOU DON'T DO SH*T, YOU ARE SH*T". Now these may not sound like the most intelligent words, but for the past few months I feel like this. I have done just enough to get by. I really think it is biting me in the butt now. I need to get my butt in gear and make something of myself. I need to work hard, do more at home, save money. I just need to change a few things in my life. Just make myself a better person. Again, I am going to try quit chewing. I need to get back into the gym. I need to work harder, I currently feel like such a loser!